Yesterday afternoon Barack Obama gave his first major climate address to the nation. While many environmentalists jumped for joy, I found myself singularly unimpressed — the speech lacked any real sense of urgency, mired in the same plodding, informative language that convinces few of the seriousness of the problem, much less compels them to act. So I decided to write him the speech he should have given. Enjoy.
Ladies and gentlemen, members of Congress, my fellow Americans…
We are at war.
Now I speak not of our fledgling war on obesity, in which my beautiful wife Michelle and legislators across this great nation seek to instill better eating habits in America’s youth. Nor do I speak of our failed War on Drugs, now in its 42nd year and costing billions of dollars to treat sick people like criminals without bringing us any closer to a solution. And no I’m not talking about the War on Terrorism, the pursuit of which has seen us sacrifice thousands of American lives and many of the morals and civil liberties we hold most dear.
The war I speak of is bigger than all of these combined. This war already costs the world trillions of dollars every year, and threatens to wipe out every last human being on Earth. Our enemy in this war is ruthless, showing no remorse as it poisons our air, razes our crops, and destroys our cities. Our enemy is also cunning, as it disguises its attacks, seeds chaos around the globe and makes us turn on one another. Above all, our foe is deadly: every year it claims 400,000 lives, including 1000 children each day. 1000 children a day…think about that. Our enemy inflicts all of this damage, and yet collectively we can barely utter its name.
That changes today.
Here, on the world stage, I declare to the American people that we are indeed under attack, and we will not sit by while our very existence is threatened. The real enemy at the gates — the one that threatens all life on planet Earth — is climate change.